Carelessness of Mine

It happened again...

Actually I could not recollect just how many times I had been careless. Be it forgetting my teaching schedule or simply leaving my motorcycle key in it's plug, I fancy it's been thousand times, I just don't remember. And this afternoon the worst so far happened.

A week ago I received a text from my friend who works as an admin in the college major I'm recently teaching. She said I got a letter, a bill (we call it that way) to make a examination sheet for the finals. I thanked her, promised to take it later. But I forgot it until I took the letter this noon. The examination is due tomorrow, not to mention that I missed the deadline to submit the sheet (the letter was given on 3rd, the deadline was on 6th). It means I had to make it quickly because the office will close at 4 or the examination will be cancelled. But as if the shock hadn't been enough, I had to teach at 1, and my co-teacher said they need the sheet no later than 2. Ends there? No! My hard disk was also jammed so I couldn't access my exam sheet data bank. Crap. You can imagine how screwed I was at that moment...

Fortunately, my co-teacher friend took the job over and she helped me by making an exam sheet in less than 20 minutes (it's been 2.15 when I asked her for help). She made it, considering she was still on her travel minibus,  having journey to Jogja from her hometown. I'm so grateful...

I was so angry to myself. I really hate it when people call me careless, reckless etc but what can I do? I always forgot almost every particular thing, sometimes right when I really need that. I'm tired of my own recklessness, but what can I do?. :(

Titik Balik

Tak bisa lagi kuingat kapan persisnya

Rasa ini tak lagi menabur semai-semainya

Pada sekuntum jiwa yang tak kunjung mekar itu

Sungguh aku tak ingin menyandera hati

Di kala diri ini telah tak sanggup lagi berjalan, bertautan

Dengan jemari  yang  tak lagi menggenggam

Tapi entahlah, tak banyak yang bisa kuhapuskan

Dari jejakku yang telah begitu mengakar

di petak-petak yang dulu sering kusiram

Cobalah jawab tanyaku ini

Bisakah kamu sekedar menyentuh kelopak bunga

Tanpa tergores oleh tajam belukarnya?

Sudah, cukup sudah!

Tak ayal aku pun bersembunyi

Menolak untuk datang lagi ke taman itu, yang sudah berjelaga mengaratkanku

Bisakah kau mengerti?

Aku lelah, aku melemah

Di pasangmu aku surut, pun tenggelammu hanya bisa menyeretku karam

Semakin dalam, semakin dalam

Aku ingin bernafas!

Ya, jarak ini memang sudah tak lagi memisah

Tapi di tiap jengkalnya hanya terekam lambaian tangan

Kuat-kuat, namun samar saja di matamu

Yang jika kini semua menyata, waktulah yang layak kau tuntut

Maka bayangkanlah sebisamu

Riangnya anak-anak dalam jiwa ini, menyambut hadirnya

Menciumi tangannya, dan seketika merubahnya jadi ksatria

Siap menghunuskan pedang dan perisainya

Menjaganya untuk tak terbang lagi terlalu cepat

Menahannya sejenak di tanah yang gersang ini

Berharap hujan yang ia bawa menyejukkan hampa yang lama mendahaga

Dan memang, ia nyata

Tak terduga, namun juga tak asing

Seperti telah berabad mengenalnya

Mungkin memang ialah separuh diriku yang hilang

Yang datang mengagetkanku sejenak setelah kau lenyap

Membawakanku kembali nyala-nyala jiwa yang meredup.

Sungguh, ini terlalu indah buatku

Lalu bagaimana mungkin aku mau kembali?

 Yogya, February 2013